All of it.

There are no (and will never be any) advertisements here, only the good stuff.

My name is M. Jack Ferdinand—an independent writer, film director, and musician, with a BA degree in Digital Filmmaking—and I have created this publication, Madness & Beauty, today the 18th of July 2021, a Sunday, with the primary aim of introducing traditional, other, and forgotten ways of thinking to the mainstream, dealing with subjects of art, culture, tradition, and society.

The short pitch: this shall be a notebook of sorts, that collects or aims to capture all of the good things about art and culture, and ultimately, thoughts that strive to add value to society.

This publication shall, too, aim to talk about cinema and music, both specifically—individual films, filmmakers, musicians, bands—and broadly, each as a whole, but always as allegories for the madness and follies of our existence. It would endeavor, furthermore, to inject more culture to the stream, in bringing back to the surface old, obscure, esoteric, and forgotten things (unpopular culture, if you will). Though let there be no confusion, I am not, nor would I ever claim to be some know-it-all like most others you hear talking to the birds in the park; I do not know of all in the cornucopia of dark, profound, and nice things. I can only promise what my scriptwriting mentor had once taught me to do in my writing—to write only what I know, and from the heart.

Be it known that I may sometimes be, as Sinatra used to sing, “all or nothing at all” (absolutist) in my beliefs or proclivities, and that I may sometimes have a controversial or radical effect, but that it is not aimed at stirring up any kind of conflict, or that it would ever be an imposition towards people’s already settled, steadied, and secured set of beliefs or well-established propensities; I do not aim to offend and insult (much or deliberately) any persons, people, peoples, or given groups at any given time—I disavowed my Christianity a long time ago for that very reason (so as not to offend or insult any Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist or Pastafarian). What I write here is only for those who would read it and listen, those who would go and choose to seek it, and ultimately those who would choose to take something from it, of their own accord. And while I do aim to inspire and instigate some small (but hopefully profound) change, as any artist should in any of his or her works, I do not aim to change the world. That is a fool’s errand anyway. This is only my small contribution, my responsibility, my tribute as an artist and freethinker.

But this above all, I am not a political man, politics bore me. I do not like discussions of politics, ever, and any single line I write here should never be taken as political in any way. If they should sound that way to anyone, know this, I am not presently subscribed to any of the world’s politics, not that I ever was in any deep sense. Any politics I know is history, and if I should make a comical remark or specific reference to something of a political nature, they should not be taken as me having a stance, an agenda, or a side—I do not know of sides.

In fact, I should say here and now all I know of politics and sides. There will always be sides—four, five, maybe nineteen at any given time. But there will always be two that are equal in its opposition of the other—one cannot move without the other falling behind. For politics is like wearing slippers, there is one for your left foot and one for your right foot, but you can’t have just one without the other if you don’t want either of your feet to touch the ground. After all, we are not savages, we do not fight and war against those who are not on our side because we are animals with blood lust and dirty feet. No, we do not start wars because of greed and envy or territorial pissing contests. We start wars because of politics. For war is politics, and politics is talk of war. And I am no soldier, I’ve never been in a fight with anyone other than those I once called my best friends, but I offer only this: as the yet ambivalently anonymous adage goes,

“War is not defined by those who are right, but by those who are left.”

Though I would like to add to that, that indeed, like politics and slippers, in war there is a left and right, except that at the end of every war, everyone eventually ends up barefoot. And maybe I’m preparing for war, or I’m just walking in the sand, but I’ve learned to walk barefoot a long, long time ago. That is all I know and would care to say about politics and sides.

And when all is said and done, I side with humanity.

Often, when speaking my thoughts and sharing my tastes and beliefs, my friends said of me: hermit, provincial, caveman, and a couple of other pejoratives that I no longer recall for the excellent work of cheap wine and shoddy gin. But maybe this is how my words should be taken as, that of a hermit. For in fact, that’s how I’ve been for the longest time, for the most part, about certain things. I grew up with old manners, customs and ideals; old fairytales of how far the extent and reaches a man should go to for a woman; I grew up listening to old music, reading old books and watching old films, and when I had matured enough into a person willing to seek new and outside input, I stuck mostly to what I knew and had grown up with, barely absorbing anything new (as in from this century). And it wasn’t because I had closed myself off to the new, but merely that I am a creature of habit and comfort and I tend to trust more what I’m used to, and I’m comfortable with what I’m used to.

Though, slowly, in the past couple of years I have begun this process of reconnoitering the rim of my comfortable realm in the hopes of developing, shall we say, foreign tastes, and adapt new ways, habits and inclinations.

It is with this template that, in this publication, I shall examine the artistic, cultural, and collective worth of this present day—in individual pieces or classes of music, literature, film, television, or whatever else it is that causes people to burn and drown themselves senseless in front of a screen.

For rightly so, I have whetted my tongue, and there is something else eager to get out of my skin.

Finally, I would like to say that I am not doing this because I feel like I’m above anything or anyone in any subject matter, or that anything would be beneath me. In fact, I am from somewhere else entirely, where I have been up, down and without, and found no above and beneath—and now I only know of above and beyond.

No, I am doing this for the doing itself; I am doing this because to deprive myself of it would drive me madder and blacker than I have already allowed myself to become, and I do not want to do it any further. I have deprived myself for far too long, too much.

And I am doing this for the very basic human thing that has caused our species to thrive and cultivate for aeons—community.

I want to find like-minded beings with whom I can discuss and share thoughts & ideas with; like-minded beings who want to talk openly and freely about what they feel about certain things; who share similar interests and would, too, want to inspire others and help each other grow, in knowledge, skill, culture, and speech; like-minded beings who would come not only to speak, but to reflect, to come and find silence or slowing down in this here and now—speed generation.

I am doing this because I want to contribute good things today, and hopefully help make it become something we can proudly pass on tomorrow to our children and the future generations, before it ends.

I have no other works of (formal) writing of which the public can be made avail; I have kept my circles closely-knit; and anything you find out there I shall not accept as being definitive of my writing. This publication is meant to remedy that. My credibility shall be what I write here.

The same can be said about my cinematic and musical endeavors, I have kept myself very well obscured, but I do, too, intend to remedy that. And while I intend to do each separately—I am a fan of compartmentalization—that this publication should primarily be for my writing, I want the (future) readers to be made aware that I might, from time to time, insert here a few of my own cinematic and musical thoughts and indulgences, but not so much so that it would cloud, puff up, and compromise the integrity of this publication as a purely literary endeavor. In fact, the frequency of that shall be barely, and its visibility not too in-your-face; I shall only include that which is relevant to the established topics and themes. For now, anyway, I just want to write.

For alas, I am doing this, too, because I think it needs to be done, especially in this world where people do not read anymore, and people do not write anymore, people “scroll” or “blog” on by and poison the cloud with images and videos and endless non sequuntur; a world where the language and elegance of the written word is slowly dying—something that I just cannot stand. (Surely, I am not alone in this.)

I, the student of language that I am, have taken the first step out of the shadows to answer the call to save it and fight to preserve the beauty of it. For I have dedicated my life to the preservation of long-lost, far-away, forgotten, and beautiful things; and I extend that dedication in this publication.

(I dedicate it also to Andrea, who never knew how to turn the light off in me.)

Who is it for?

If you have read up to this point, then it may be for you. Maybe you’re interested in the subjects mentioned above, or overall premise of this; maybe you have stumbled upon an individual piece about a specific topic that I had written, or maybe you just want something different every now and again. But if you’ve read all that I’ve written up to here and are reading on still, then you have proven three things: that you do not mind reading lengthy material (without much visual accompaniment—though, which should not be always so)—as my writing tends to be; that you are indeed interested in the premise; and that you are open to the other, alternative, uncommon things. In which case, this is for you.

The point always is to reflect; to invite deep thought and slow down.

I wish only to provide something else for people who are in search of it, something different; and again, to inspire some good, should people take heed of it.

I am merely someone who has got something else to say. But you can always take it or leave it.

More than anything, the individual pieces I write should themselves lead here those who would appreciate them. Anyway, one works hard to find things that they appreciate, after all. (Thus the reason for why I chose this format.)

If you have found any of these things enticing, then you have found something here, and I ask only that you take a chance with me. I promise not to disappoint (much or deliberately on Sundays).

As long as you’re willing to lend an ear and open thought, and leave your slippers out front.

The goal

The goal, as all this had started, was to get as much of my writing out there. It had occurred to me, some months prior, that whenever meeting new people, or as in the case of this pandemic, filling out job search forms and connecting with people on LinkedIn, I always firstly described myself as a writer, but that I had no public works to show for it. For the longest time, I’ve been comfortable with this, for I was already working on my career as a writer under a different light anyway.

But I realized that I just had so much work, so many notes, and ultimately, so much writing juice that I wasn’t utilizing as much as I had hoped in my other pursuits.

Then came the pandemic which drove me halfway across the world in this long and arduous process of leaving behind my formerly bohemian lifestyle. I was a drifter, always relying on commission, spending all that I’d earn; I was an artist who no longer put his work out there (on the line).

And while the life of solitude and wandering will always be the life I walk towards, some things needed to change. I was at a point where, naturally, creatures like us ask ourselves what we are living for. So, I asked.

And the answer was just the same but brand new. To tell stories, and to pass on ideas. To preserve beautiful things.

The goal had never been clearer.

Terms

This publication is gratis. If you are interested in it, you subscribe to the newsletter and you get a free issue every week—which is the fancy way of saying that I will e-mail you issues every week.

But I hope to do this long enough until I have garnered a considerable sum of subscribers and hopefully loyal readers that I can eventually start offering a paid version of it (to run alongside the free one) and expand on it.

Though this is still a long ways ahead, I would be doing this today for its own merit and intrinsic rewards.

Anyway, I must first seek an audience and build connections. Nevertheless, I shall always strive to show here the brightest of my burning passions.

Why subscribe?

You get full and straight access to the latest issues right in your inbox—it’s just more personal that way.
And, no hassle. Check them whenever you feel like it. No pressure. You can decide whether or not to read them right away or save them for a rainy day.
(I wish I had that luxury—all my days are rainy days.)

After that, of course, it shall be your decision whether to join in on the discussion, or walk on by silently.

The promise

Like all that I do, this is still an experiment. I would have to do some trial-and-error at first, prune away on the rough edges, figure out things like scheduling. But I am dedicating myself to writing for this every week. While I have no doubt that I will sometimes fall short or behind, I can only promise to do what I’m best at, telling stories and speaking only and always with passion and truth; and to constantly strive to deliver you content that you can appreciate.

Before I started this I was merely seeking to maximize my productivity, looking to force myself to create. In my experience, beautiful things tend to happen when you force yourself. I suppose this is now one of those things, then.

But rest guaranteed that if there’s nothing there, I won’t force it. All or nothing at all.

Anyway, I’m in it for the long haul.

For now, I won’t set an official day of release yet, though I do like the idea of releasing them every Sunday—connoting that I work on the Christian god’s rest day.

I believe I’m just going to have to figure out the process as it goes. I’ll just have to release the first issue and that will be it, I’ll really be in this once I do.